the basis of the book is a chronicling of a year that ms. gilbert spends traveling the world (italy, india and indonesia, to be precise.) in each of these countries, she discovers something about herself. i am currently traveling with her through italy in her pursuit of pleasure.
one of the questions she poses to herself before her journey begins is simple and yet extremely profound:
what do you want?
as i read this, i posed the question to myself and was shocked when i came to the conclusion...
i have no fucking clue.
so often in my life, i spend more of my time determining what i don't want.
i don't want to become one of those women.
i don't want to be a round peg in a round hole.
i don't want to conform to what society expects of me.
i don't want to buy into 21st century advertising.
i don't want my life to be controlled by my credit score and how much i possess.
i don't want blonde hair.
i don't want fake boobs.
i don't want
i don't want
i don't want...
what i do want is to know what i want.
however, i believe i have let the 'don't wants' clutter my mind and dictate my actions so much so that now i have to dig my way to my desires.
so i suppose it is time to clear the clutter.
clearing clutter usually means having to sacrifice things.
i remember my mother forcing my sister and i to go through our menagerie of stuffed animals and weed out those that we no longer played with. this was never an easy task for me, for i had a fondness for each and everyone, despite the fact that over half were buried in large rubbermaid bins in the basement.
i have always struggled with sacrificing objects, food, people, time, money, vices in order to pave the way for a fresh start. yet i find that i have, once again, let my menagerie identify me and hide that which i really want.
i know that i want to know what i want.
so clear the clutter i will.
so begins the sacrifice...
- "One must not lose desires. They are mighty stimulants to creativeness, to love, and to long life." - Alexander A. Bogomeoletz