three years.

at this moment
three years ago today
an emt and a doctor
were setting my right leg for the first time.

at this moment
three years ago today
i whimpered
and wondered where my guy was.

at this moment
three years ago today
i took comfort
in the small pitter pats inside my abdomen.

each year is a little easier than the last.
each year brings a steadier gait.
each year i cry a little less.
each year i perseverate a little less.
each year i am all the more thankful.

* * *

three years ago today
my body
my outlook
my life
changed in ways
i had never anticipated.
i was given
a tragic gift
one that i now wear with pride on my right leg
one that rests in the palms of my guy's hands
one that resides in the smile of my girl.

i cherish this gift
every
single
day
but especially today.

three years ago today.

today.

go well.

weekends of thanks.

i have had much to be thankful for
since last thursday
including...

popcorn
fireplaces
date night
late-night wal-mart runs
christmas shopping (nearly done!)
mock vintage t-shirts
crochet hooks
fun with cameras

watching my girl in the toy store
two day work weeks
cool whip.

go well.

strings of thankfulness.

i am thankful for yarn.

here's why.

after receiving word
from my dear friend yesterday
that she would be starting a new adventure
and leaving the cornfields behind
i began to think about the ties
that brought us together
and have kept us tethered to the ground
in times of frustration;
those tethers
are made up
of yarn.

this got me thinking
about how my affair with yarn
began.

years
and
years
ago...

my great-aunt liz
who is always a riot to be around
came to visit us out west
and brought with her
crochet hooks
and yarn.

and i was
no pun intended
hooked.

i made several simple bookmarks
and could barely turn a chain
but i enjoyed the activity
and asked for my own hooks
and yarn
which my parents obliged me with.

and then
like kids do
i lost interest.

it wasn't until a few years ago
that i rekindled my relationship
with yarn.

i had decided to pick up crocheting again
as a means of trying to quit
smoking.
at the time
i wasn't very successful
but did manage to turn out several scarves
that year.

following christmas that year
my interest waned again
and the bag of yarn was tucked into a closet
along with a plethora of hooks.

it wasn't until the fall
of 2007
that i rediscovered my stash
purposefully
this time with more of a drive to quit smoking
and with a final project in mind:
my first blanket
a baby blanket
for my best girl.

i remember picking a shade of green
that reminded me of a color i had seen
in the yoga studio where i took classes
and i set to work
busying my hands each night
with the daunting task
of creating something for my girl.

but as first trimester sleepiness set in
the yarn got tucked under the couch
and eventually back in the closet
and then found its way into a box
that was moved to my parents' house
as we prepared to sell our own.

and then...

it was a pain i remember well

and even though time was blurred

by drugs

and sleep

i remember being restless

and stuck.

about a week after the accident

after returning home with my parents

and after several nights of waking up 

and watching the clock

waiting for the second hand to reach the three

so i could take another percocet

my mom

ventured to their basement

to dig through our boxes

and find my yarn.

and my love for yarn

was blown up entirely

as it saved me from the pain.

last year

i decided i wanted to take on 

more

with yarn

and i asked my dear friend 

to show me the way 

of the knitting needles.

and i made my second blanket

for sweet ella mary.

so why

you may ask

am i thankful for yarn today?

because today i am remembering how it has tied me to a dear friend.

because today i am remembering how it pulled me out of bad habits.

because today i am remembering how it saved me from the pain.

because today i started a new scarf...and a new blanket...for my girl.

because today i have hope that someday i will make more than scarves and baby blankets.

because today i am hopeful that i will one day be able to share it with my girl.

today

i am thankful for yarn.

go well.

six days of thanks.

it's not that i haven't had thing
for which to be thankful.
i've just been too lazy busy
to brand them on the wires.

i am and have been thankful for...

flannel sheets
homemade vegetable soup
my mom's bran muffins
vintage doorknobs
$13 at goodwill
boots
adorable hats

peppermint mochas
a lack of exercise (just a break...so nice)
bags of trash (meaning less clutter in my kitchen)

i must say
that i am not thankful for phoenix
but am thankful for my dear friend
meg
whom i will miss very much
and who has brought such enlightenment
to my life.
i wish you well
but am so sad that you will be leaving.

go well.

oh dear...and thanks.

it is november 11th.
i am behind.

on tuesday, i was thankful for...

my girl.
her smile.
the way she makes my life so much better.
and yoga.
and handstands.
and 'sons of anarchy'.

on wednesday, i was thankful for...

my husband
who woke me up
from sleeping
on my girl's floor
so that i could run.
for 5:00 a.m. runs.
for sleep masks.

today
i am thankful for
carmen
dayton
and dalton
who are no longer
the little kids
i remember
but instead
adults who i can poke fun at
and loving uncles and an aunt.
happy birthday.

and for our veterans
who never get enough credit
and deserve more than one day
of recognition.

and three day weekends.

go well.

and today...

...i am thankful for

mobility
blonde curls
granola crisps
dyson vacuums
wagging tails.

backed up thanks.

i didn't post this weekend.
i didn't post because i was busy
being a mom
being a wife
taking a nap
and just enjoying my home.

but here it is...

friday, i was thankful for:

final testing days
peanut butter M&Ms
mini crab cakes
soy chai
my bed.

saturday, i was thankful for:

hot glue guns
sewing machine gurus
post-nap snuggles
frozen pizza on the floor
our first official family movie night
the fact that i can still cry over kids' movies.

sunday, i was thankful for:

long naps in front of the fire
opening the windows in november
a child's imagination
apples, sausage and maple syrup
a  man that loves being a daddy

go well.

thanks again.

today i am thankful for...

etsy.
spontaneous starbucks.
haircuts
people who know how to restore old trunks AND use the internet.
clearance items.
homemade applesauce.

go well.

rants and thanks.

it all started on etsy
which led me here

which in turn led me here

and here

and here

and then spurred this e-mail to my husband:

I have come to a conclusion.

Whilst the cherubs are testing (diligently, I might add), I have had a great deal of time to "thumb" through websites.

It all started on Etsy, while I was looking for an apron for Charlie.

Then I clicked on a link...

then another...

then another...

and this was the conclusion I came to. 

I DON'T HAVE ENOUGH TIME TO DO ALL OF THE THINGS I WANT TO DO!!!

(mind you his response was that i should

perhaps

consider cutting down the amount of time i spend in the grocery store

which i know probably holds merit

and rationale)

i am a closet crafter
i love to make things
from trash
scrap paper
ribbon remnants
and anything else i can get my hands on.

i subscribe to a plethora
of crafty blogs
and ooh and aah over the finished products
of all the 'martha' moms
and their kids
and i try
really really hard
to make time for those things in our days
like last weekend
when we did this:

we had so much fun making these

and i cannot wait to get them put up

around our house

barren of any sign of autumn

at present.

my love for crafting

has been put on the back burner

(you can refer to this post

for more on that)

and while i would love 

nothing more

than for my house to look

like this...

it just doesn't seem to work out that way.

but enough of that.

in all honesty

the above actually spurs

what is to follow

because...

i am thankful

for creative people

who share that creativity 

in the same wires i have come to know well

because they inspire me

they make me think

they make me look at the world

my world

differently

and make me want

to make

create

brighten

enlighten

my home

my child's mind

my world.

today
i am also thankful
for pumpkin chili
a cleared schedule
warm drinks (pumpkin soy chai)
and ambition.

go well.

thanks 2.

in an effort to continue the count
today i am thankful for...

coffee
my teammate's supply of m&m's
slippers that act as shoes (aka: winter flip-flops)

yoga
IBuprofen
the moana webcam (although it is important to note that they are five hours behind which means at 9:40 a.m. here, it is still quite dark there...)
the pitiful tears in the morning that, while heartbreaking, let me know that i am loved.

go well.

many thanks.

today
while scanning facebook
i noticed that several of my contacts
had began to use their status update
as a place in which to post those things
for which they were thankful for
as a means of
'counting down'
to thanksgiving.

and i thought
huh;
what a good idea.

but rather than use my status updates
i decided to share with the world
(or whomever ventures here)
via my little corner in the wires.

so
i am thankful for...

snooze buttons
sweaters
maple almond butter and pumpkin spice soy milk...in my oats
giggles that seem to come from the tips of your hair straight out through your toes
sesame street...in the grocery store
the sweaty guy in my basement who makes me laugh even when i want to quit
the same guy (less sweaty) who spends the night on a floor so i can sleep in a bed
piles of leaves.

go well.