My photo
mommy. wife. teacher. yogini. writer. coffee drinker. aunt. crocheter. reader. dog lover. scattered. methodical. rational. irrational. paranoid. annoyed. lost. found. content. searching. peaceful. i am constantly in search of my story. the one i have never happened. the one i've lived i cannot write.

07 August 2009

dr. jack.

it goes without saying that there are some major players in my life.
most of which are going to take great time and thought
to brand into the wires.
it is late
i am running on empty
and my fingers hurt from looping yarn
so i want to start this
but i want to start easy.

so i start with someone recent.
someone i may never see again.
someone who is in the forefront of my mind right now
as i stretch my sore muscles from my first night back in a yoga studio post-tree pose.
someone that was only a part of my life for a breath
but who completely held my future in his hands...
quite literally.

i start with dr. jack.
i still refuse to put his real name out there
to protect the innocent and all
but i will say this:
after my final encounter with the man
the legend
i have decided that maybe he's not quite the jack ass i thought he was.

for the longest time
i was just 'the pregnant girl' to him.
he didn't take the time to really know me.
in fact, following my surgery
following my move to the ortho floor
he went back to labor and delivery to find me
and carried on a conversation
about my leg
with a lovely pregnant girl
who apparently resembled me
minus the broken leg.
(i hear she was quite gracious about the whole thing
pointing out that she had two good legs
and was crowning.)

he always zipped in and out of my room(s)
with little regard for my questions
leaving that to tess (ah, tess.)
he wasn't even present on the day of my release.
when i called to refill my perscriptions
from my father's recliner
it was his medical student who spoke with me.

after charlie was born
i wasn't the pregnant girl anymore
and he really had to make an effort to get to know me.
he was in need of two jet skis
and i just happen to know a guy...

in march.

i returned to iowa city
for what felt like the hundredth time
i greeted the receptionists by name
made my way to the familiar x-ray room
(without limping)
let tess (ah, tess)
ooh and aah over charlie.
and then made my way to the clinic room where i would sit and wait
for dr. jack to breeze in and out.

the x-rays showed my leg was/is still fractured.
titanium is a wonderful thing.
the medical student
a kid i had never met
attempted to cover my leg with me
while i explained to him
the accident
the procedure
the grafts
the solution
(i do enjoy making medical students squirm)

and in he came.
any pain?
bend your knee.
straighten your leg.
let me see you walk.
any pain?

only when i run.

he got really quiet
then he laughed.
if you would have told me
a year ago
that you'd be running
i would have told you
it was impossible.
your recovery
is amazing.

and tess (ah, tess.)
you know, she was pregnant when this all happened.

(with some disdain)
uh, yeah, of course i remember.
how could i forget?

as far as i'm concerned
you're healed.
give it another year
and the fracture will heal
but YOU are healed.
i don't need to see you again.
i will, if you need anything.
i'll always see you.
but i don't need to.
and when you run that 5K this fall
you'd better send me a picture from the finish line.

and that was it.
that was the last time i saw ol' jack.
and i cried in the car
i cried
because it finally hit me
that this man
despite his ego
had saved my leg
i cried
over his words
that i had overcome even his expectations
i cried
because he may have not believed i'd do these things again
but he never told me and that made me think i could.
and i have.
i cried
because i think
deep down
i'm gonna miss the bastard.

so here's to you
dr. jack.
your name goes here.

(immediately after the corrective surgery)
go well.

1 comment:

Tara S K said...

Love it! I wish I could be more like you in so many ways Amy! Your outlook on life and what it has given you is amazing to me.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...