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mommy. wife. teacher. yogini. writer. coffee drinker. aunt. crocheter. reader. dog lover. scattered. methodical. rational. irrational. paranoid. annoyed. lost. found. content. searching. peaceful. i am constantly in search of my story. the one i have never happened. the one i've lived i cannot write.

29 April 2010

best good girl.

my bug.
my love.
my best good girl.

it's true what they say;
having children is an experience one cannot find words for.
i turned around for a moment
and in that instant
two years have passed.
everyday i love you more and more
than the day before
and everyday you change
and grow.

when i hold you in my arms in the evenings
and look down at your legs dangling over the arm of the chair
i can't quite place in my mind
when you got so big.
when i look at your beautiful face
peaceful and sleepy
after a day of giggles and squeals
i cannot remember what i did
before you changed my life.

i have moments of anxiety
as a mother
as your mother
that i will never be able to teach you all that i want
show you all that i want
give to you all that i want
but i promise you that i will make the most of every opportunity i am given
and this is one.

as you enter toddlerhood
i think it only fair to share with you
all that you do
and say
that make your daddy's life
and mine
the adventure that it has become
since you entered them.

  • you are busy.  you run. you walk.  you rarely let us hold you or carry you.  you despise your stroller and make sure i know it.  you keep up with me when i jog stiffly through papa's pasture or down the trail.  you throw your head back and laugh at the sky as you propel yourself forward through life.
  • you are in a constant state of chatter.  the things you say each and every day amaze me.  just the other day, driving down the road you shouted, "mama!  daddy!  look!  purple lilacs!"  and sure enough, there by the roadside were rows and rows of purple lilac bushes.  
  • we frequent starbucks together.  you get the vanilla milk, i get the vanilla latte.  when we pull into the parking lot, you clap and scream 'MILK!!' (this does not thrill your daddy).
  • in addition to your chatter come a few choice phrases: "go way, mama" and "stop it, daddy." are two we hear more than we would like.  however, when you say, "i sorry, mama." or "'scuse me, daddy."  you make up for it.
  • you are a great cousin, we have found.  you are so gentle with ella and it is so special to get to watch you kiss her gently on the head and whisper to her as you 'hold' her.
  • you love to build things and tear them down.  you head straight for you building blocks when we get home and shout over your shoulder, "come on, mama.  build house."  your daddy is far more creative with lego architecture than me and the two of you produce great skyscrapers made of red, blue, yellow and green.
  • you are quite the little artist.  you love to color and paint and i have to keep a stash of paper and colored pencils in my purse at all times...just in case.
  • you love to sing.  most mornings it is what i wake up to.  'old macdonald', 'ABCs', 'twinkle, twinkle' and 'row, row' are just a few of your favorites.  i love to lie in bed and listen to the rise and falls in your voice as you serenade your stuffed animals.  you also enjoy listening to music and i make sure you have a good supply of it on the tiny iPod (that once was lost and now is yours).  you especially love jason mraz (and i was secretly thrilled when you picked up a jimi hendrix CD at the store just last week).
  • i'm proud to say you've discovered the toilet and how to use it (someday you'll hate me for posting this for all the world to see but i don't care.)  you are not consistent, but every time you succeed, there is great applause!  you manage to use the facilities at least once a day, sometimes more when given the opportunity.  you find flushing to be quite humorous and rewarding.
  • you love your dogs, despite your constant scolding them.  and they love you, if even from a safe distance! 
  • you are such a reader.  you enjoy books so very much and thrills me to no end to watch you pull book after book out and ask your daddy or me to read it.  you have mastered so many books already and often times will 'read' them to us.  it is the one thing i have no problem buying you more of time and time again.
  • you don't mind getting dirty and i have resolved to buy only tee-shirts and jeans for you from now on.
  • you are an outdoor kid to be sure.  you love being outside in any way you can be; whether out for a jog on the trail or picking up dog makes no difference to you.  i love watching you take in the air and the sun and the grass and the sky.  i dread having to pull you away from the playground when i come to retrieve you in the afternoons.  
  • you love chocolate milk.  
  • you are fiercely independent.  i like to think you got that from me.
  • you are fiercely stubborn.  pretty sure you got that from your daddy.
  • you know the difference between a motorcycle, car, airplane and helicopter.  we are still working on the fact that not every truck is a 'garbage' truck, though.
  • you are and always be, the best thing we ever did.  you are a gentle soul with a fierce spirit and more than either one of us could have ever dreamed of.  i love you to the moon and back, my girl.  

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