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mommy. wife. teacher. yogini. writer. coffee drinker. aunt. crocheter. reader. dog lover. scattered. methodical. rational. irrational. paranoid. annoyed. lost. found. content. searching. peaceful. i am constantly in search of my story. the one i have never happened. the one i've lived i cannot write.

26 May 2010

how to parent: by me.

while reading this post
i found myself empathizing with the author
and since i am always on the hunt
for things to spur
my composition
this seemed as good a time as any
to talk about my parenting style.
it's not right
it's not wrong
it just is
and i have to think that some of what bill and i do
has influenced charlie
and helped her to become
the little rockstar that she is.

'cause she is.
a rockstar.
no joke.
we have

when charlie was born
i regained purpose.
after the accident
i was left to sit
and whittle the days away
with pain killers
and yarn
and colored pencils.
i couldn't mow the lawn
or dig in my garden
or even run the vacuum.

but then
this sunshine
burst into my life
and everything prior to that point
just melted away
in her beaming presence.
i had purpose.
i had new life.
i had sunshine.
and i did not want to let it go.
so i didn't.
for three months
i was never more than
twenty feet away from my girl.

some might say that i should have taken more time for me.
believe me
i'd had plenty of that 
in the weeks leading up to her arrival.

we've made choices that have worked.
we've made choices that 
didn't work so well.
we will make choices that will
or won't 
work for the rest of our lives.
and chances are
we won't use a book
to tell us which choices to make.
we'll go on gut instinct
common sense
and lots of love.

i won't lie
this has created some anxiety
in the past.

as a mother
i want to make sure my child is 
'on track'
for her age.

she didn't start on cereal until she was six months old.
she didn't start forming words until she was closer to ten months old (despite her signing ability).
she didn't walk until she was 13 months old.
she still hasn't made the transition to her 'big girl' bed.
she still gets rocked to sleep every night.


she is healthy.  she eats well.  she likes tofu.  she likes grapes.  she loves 'fru nacks'
she talks.  a lot.  she has full on conversations with us.  she read books.  she talks to her animals.  we always know what she wants...and what she doesn't want.
she runs.  fast.  she can easily keep up with my slow jog.  i can't keep her down these days.
she will sleep in a big girl bed this summer.  we just had to find the right one.  a big iron frame.  i think we'll paint it purple.
she still gets rocked to sleep every night and according to my mother, that's okay because someday she won't want to.

and if my mom says so 
that's all the assurance i need.

go well.

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