My photo
mommy. wife. teacher. yogini. writer. coffee drinker. aunt. crocheter. reader. dog lover. scattered. methodical. rational. irrational. paranoid. annoyed. lost. found. content. searching. peaceful. i am constantly in search of my story. the one i have never happened. the one i've lived i cannot write.

11 February 2013


i've said it before
over and over and over again
but i am committed
this is the week i will stop chasing my tail.

let's examine a day in the life
(because without examination of what is
how will i ever hope to accomplish what could be)

my day seemingly starts at 11:45 the night before.
my monkey is...
waking, nonetheless.
the night proceeds with wake up calls at 1:00, 3:00, 4:15 and finally 5:20
(these are all estimates
time tends to blend and blur
the nighttime messing with my psyche and well-being all at once)

when i do finally rise
(and pray that monkey will sleep long enough for me to shower)
the morning becomes a whirlwind of
mismatched outfits
and about a dozen bags being loaded into my car.
forgot the waffles.
forgot my phone.
forgot my keys.

once we are all loaded
and unloaded
it's a full day ahead...
adolescent drama
breaking up a fight
and that's all before lunch.

and speaking of lunch.
i try really hard
to prepare
and be ready
and healthy
and ingest the kinds of things that i know will provide me
with enough energy to help me muddle through
the remainder of my day.
but i'd be lying to you if i said
i didn't have gardettos and girl scout cookies
at least one day last week.

between after school commitments
swimming lessons
planning a meal
unloading the dozen or so bags from my car
letting the dog out
running baths
putting food on the table
putting kids in the bath
i finally sit down
(albeit to nurse monkey)
at 7:45.

bear in mind.
my day is going to start again in about four hours.

the "empty" minutes are usually consumed by yarn
for "the shop"
which i love
and wish i had more time for.

time to breathe.

my priorities are this:
i must be a good mother.
i must spend as much time as possible with my girls.
i must be creative.
i must be active.
i must be healthy.
i must maintain some sense of order in my home.
(this includes clean dishes, clean laundry and a clean floor).

i forget
that when bug was a babe
i structured our days
around her schedule
and i stuck to them
day after day after day.

now that bug is older
i have grown accustomed to the ability to
lax in our structure
and i forget just how much
that affects our monkey.
and thus

today is monday.
today is the day i stop chasing my tail.
and even though my day started at 11:45 last night
i'm determined to make the most of every minute i get
between now and then
carving time for
my guy
and me.


Alesha said...

You cannot be what is your top priority if you are spent, exhausted, and worn out. Raising two kids is different in every way to raising one. Allow yourself to change and be different. Your girls will benefit the most from a happy, healthy mother. Ask for and allow help (even from Bug)!! Sometimes the best "structure" is taking each day as it comes.

Anonymous said...

Well I did finally get mentioned at the bottom. I wish you could carve some time out for me as well.

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