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mommy. wife. teacher. yogini. writer. coffee drinker. aunt. crocheter. reader. dog lover. scattered. methodical. rational. irrational. paranoid. annoyed. lost. found. content. searching. peaceful. i am constantly in search of my story. the one i have never happened. the one i've lived i cannot write.

05 September 2008

hunting muses.

i've recently been dubbed 'the muse' by one.
we'll call her 'the superhero' (the irony.)

my surname has me thinking about my own muse.
you see, my muse has adhd.
she tends to scurry around .
play hide and seek.

i recall a missive from 2005...applicable once again...

(it would seem my missives parallel fads...they always seem to come back around after a bell bottoms or thick rimmed glasses...)

Fellow writers, artists, seekers of the muse...lend me your ear!!

I have, as of late, been exploring the idea of creating for the masses. I was encouraged as a writer many years ago...I had wonderful teachers that pushed me and pulled ideas out and helped me put them to paper. Even in college I was encouraged to pursue my quiet passion. My husband, my biggest fan and supporter, has always encouraged me to move forward.

I think, though, my muse is on holiday and has been for quite some time.

I step to the edge with great hesitation, for the story is not there to pull me in.

I am beginning to think I am not paying romance enough attention - she is quietly slipping away, shaking her head and muttering, "You're not looking at me." I am sure she is tired of dancing just out of the corner of my eye and I fear she is giving up on me. I admire and applaud those that quietly wait for her to reveal herself and then snap up the moment with pen, picture, paintbrush. Because I have not paid her enough attention in recent years, when I do seek her out, my muse, my romance, she flees saying, "Your timing is off."

I have spent so many years convincing myself I do not have a story to write. What life have I lived to squeeze drama comedy horror out of? What voice could a midwestern girl lend to the masses?

So the question I throw into the void today is this: where is inspiration hiding for one and all? I have looked under the table, under the bed, peered into the eyes of the person in line behind me, brushed the arm of a passerby...inspiration is hiding. I am frustrated in my search and it is time for me to reach out to you, fellow artist, and ask - where is my muse? Have you seen her?

one of these days i'll tell you about life in the box...

"Every child is an artist. The problem is how to remain an artist once he grows up." - Pablo Picasso

go well.


Anonymous said...

Is hunting muses kind of like hunting wabbits :) thanks for the super secret code name!

Charline said...

I would say your muse is not lost. Your writing, even writing about not being able to write, is beautiful. You are writing. This is writing. It is worthy. Don't be so hard on yourself. You do what you can.

At the same time, I know what you mean. I feel exactly the same. But, blogging helps. At least what creativity is alive somewhere in me is no longer entirely contained.

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