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mommy. wife. teacher. yogini. writer. coffee drinker. aunt. crocheter. reader. dog lover. scattered. methodical. rational. irrational. paranoid. annoyed. lost. found. content. searching. peaceful. i am constantly in search of my story. the one i have never happened. the one i've lived i cannot write.

26 January 2010

a brief missive on blogging.

i have come to the conclusion
that maintaining a blog is...
  • purely selfish
  • very vain
  • completely unfair
i'll explain.

it is for purely selfish reasons that i blog.
i blog to empty my head
of the words that
swim around in there
day in
day out
(although maybe not to the fullest extent
not knowing whose eyes may rest here).
i blog because if i don't discard these words
at some point
they will lead to catastrophic events
i'm sure.

it is so very vain of me to throw my life in the void.
i try to be cautious of this
my other blog pages probably apply more
to the vanity
than this one.
sometimes when i'm writing
i feel like a teenage girl
checking the bathroom mirror
for the eleventh time
in four minutes.
i hope that i do not come off as vain.
i hope that i am not perceived as someone
shouting from the corner of the wires
'look at me!
look at me!'


it is totally and completely unfair
this blogging business.
i open the pages
and allow each and every one of you
to look at my life.
this is my choice
(which kind of goes back to the vanity side of all of this)
but at the same time
i throw my soul on the wires
it's truly a feeling of rejection at times.
it's like the mirrored glass
in an interrogation room;
i provide both the answers
and questions
and you
the void
get to sit and watch.
don't be afraid to step in
once in awhile
and throw in your hat.

do you flash the world? or do you prefer to sit and watch?

go well.

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