sunshine makes me feel...

sometimes i really very much want to write

and i really very much can't think

of a damned thing to talk about.

so sometimes i like to do what we make the kids do:

write about a journal topic

this one i liked.

sunshine makes me feel...

sunshine makes me feel like a child.

sunshine makes me long for air

and quiet breezes

and green grass

and long runs

and giggles.

sunshine makes me feel peaceful.

i have spent hours upon hours

and days upon days

perched on decks

patios

porches

with a book

and the sunshine

listening to the birds

letting the wind

the breeze

slide its fingertips over my face

and tussle my hair.

sunshine makes me feel maternal

in the weeks following our accident

and before my sweet girl arrived

my mom

or

my dad

would wheel me onto their deck

while they tended the pasture

and i would sit with the mutts

lift up my shirt

and expose my swollen belly to the rays

and read to my best good girl.

she loves to be outside even now.

sunshine makes me feel healthy.

the rays pierce my skin

leaving it to prickle and dance

and sending the cells in motion

sending me in motion

i yearn to move forward

and up

and down

and further

and further.

it pulls up the vegetables

it ripens the fruit

it awakens this vessel.

sunshine makes me feel productive.

as the light lifts the earth

it pulls me out

and pushes my hands in the dirt

and the sweat pours from my hair

down my eyes

and into the ground

and from it

come blooms.

sunshine makes me feel alive.

it wipes away the dead of winter

and reveals those

who have been holed up for months.

reveals green

reveals buds

reveals new life

reveals revitalized life.