strings of thankfulness.

i am thankful for yarn.

here's why.

after receiving word
from my dear friend yesterday
that she would be starting a new adventure
and leaving the cornfields behind
i began to think about the ties
that brought us together
and have kept us tethered to the ground
in times of frustration;
those tethers
are made up
of yarn.

this got me thinking
about how my affair with yarn
began.

years
and
years
ago...

my great-aunt liz
who is always a riot to be around
came to visit us out west
and brought with her
crochet hooks
and yarn.

and i was
no pun intended
hooked.

i made several simple bookmarks
and could barely turn a chain
but i enjoyed the activity
and asked for my own hooks
and yarn
which my parents obliged me with.

and then
like kids do
i lost interest.

it wasn't until a few years ago
that i rekindled my relationship
with yarn.

i had decided to pick up crocheting again
as a means of trying to quit
smoking.
at the time
i wasn't very successful
but did manage to turn out several scarves
that year.

following christmas that year
my interest waned again
and the bag of yarn was tucked into a closet
along with a plethora of hooks.

it wasn't until the fall
of 2007
that i rediscovered my stash
purposefully
this time with more of a drive to quit smoking
and with a final project in mind:
my first blanket
a baby blanket
for my best girl.

i remember picking a shade of green
that reminded me of a color i had seen
in the yoga studio where i took classes
and i set to work
busying my hands each night
with the daunting task
of creating something for my girl.

but as first trimester sleepiness set in
the yarn got tucked under the couch
and eventually back in the closet
and then found its way into a box
that was moved to my parents' house
as we prepared to sell our own.

and then...

it was a pain i remember well

and even though time was blurred

by drugs

and sleep

i remember being restless

and stuck.

about a week after the accident

after returning home with my parents

and after several nights of waking up 

and watching the clock

waiting for the second hand to reach the three

so i could take another percocet

my mom

ventured to their basement

to dig through our boxes

and find my yarn.

and my love for yarn

was blown up entirely

as it saved me from the pain.

last year

i decided i wanted to take on 

more

with yarn

and i asked my dear friend 

to show me the way 

of the knitting needles.

and i made my second blanket

for sweet ella mary.

so why

you may ask

am i thankful for yarn today?

because today i am remembering how it has tied me to a dear friend.

because today i am remembering how it pulled me out of bad habits.

because today i am remembering how it saved me from the pain.

because today i started a new scarf...and a new blanket...for my girl.

because today i have hope that someday i will make more than scarves and baby blankets.

because today i am hopeful that i will one day be able to share it with my girl.

today

i am thankful for yarn.

go well.