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mommy. wife. teacher. yogini. writer. coffee drinker. aunt. crocheter. reader. dog lover. scattered. methodical. rational. irrational. paranoid. annoyed. lost. found. content. searching. peaceful. i am constantly in search of my story. the one i have never happened. the one i've lived i cannot write.

18 November 2010

strings of thankfulness.

i am thankful for yarn.

here's why.

after receiving word
from my dear friend yesterday
that she would be starting a new adventure
and leaving the cornfields behind
i began to think about the ties
that brought us together
and have kept us tethered to the ground
in times of frustration;
those tethers
are made up
of yarn.

this got me thinking
about how my affair with yarn


my great-aunt liz
who is always a riot to be around
came to visit us out west
and brought with her
crochet hooks
and yarn.

and i was
no pun intended

i made several simple bookmarks
and could barely turn a chain
but i enjoyed the activity
and asked for my own hooks
and yarn
which my parents obliged me with.

and then
like kids do
i lost interest.

it wasn't until a few years ago
that i rekindled my relationship
with yarn.

i had decided to pick up crocheting again
as a means of trying to quit
at the time
i wasn't very successful
but did manage to turn out several scarves
that year.

following christmas that year
my interest waned again
and the bag of yarn was tucked into a closet
along with a plethora of hooks.

it wasn't until the fall
of 2007
that i rediscovered my stash
this time with more of a drive to quit smoking
and with a final project in mind:
my first blanket
a baby blanket
for my best girl.

i remember picking a shade of green
that reminded me of a color i had seen
in the yoga studio where i took classes
and i set to work
busying my hands each night
with the daunting task
of creating something for my girl.

but as first trimester sleepiness set in
the yarn got tucked under the couch
and eventually back in the closet
and then found its way into a box
that was moved to my parents' house
as we prepared to sell our own.

and then...

it was a pain i remember well
and even though time was blurred
by drugs
and sleep
i remember being restless
and stuck.

about a week after the accident
after returning home with my parents
and after several nights of waking up 
and watching the clock
waiting for the second hand to reach the three
so i could take another percocet
my mom
ventured to their basement
to dig through our boxes
and find my yarn.

and my love for yarn
was blown up entirely

last year
i decided i wanted to take on 
with yarn
and i asked my dear friend 
to show me the way 
of the knitting needles.

and i made my second blanket
for sweet ella mary.

so why
you may ask
am i thankful for yarn today?

because today i am remembering how it has tied me to a dear friend.
because today i am remembering how it pulled me out of bad habits.
because today i am remembering how it saved me from the pain.
because today i started a new scarf...and a new blanket...for my girl.
because today i have hope that someday i will make more than scarves and baby blankets.
because today i am hopeful that i will one day be able to share it with my girl.

i am thankful for yarn.

go well.

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