My photo
mommy. wife. teacher. yogini. writer. coffee drinker. aunt. crocheter. reader. dog lover. scattered. methodical. rational. irrational. paranoid. annoyed. lost. found. content. searching. peaceful. i am constantly in search of my story. the one i have never happened. the one i've lived i cannot write.

08 May 2009

chapter 11.

(at last.)

chapter 1.
chapter 2.
chapter 3.
chapter 4.
chapter 5.
chapter 6.
chapter 7.
chapter 8.
chapter 9.
chapter 10.

i am not sure when
but at some point during the week i was at the university
the hospital became my home.
my real home
seemed a thousand miles away
and years from where i left mere days before.
at the time
i would have rather been anywhere but in that bed
that bed with all of it's buttons
disheveled sheets
and excess pillows.

but without me realizing it
that bed became my world
and leaving it
would throw my sense of 'home'
into a tailspin once again.

* * *

my last night in the hospital
was a special one
bittersweet, even.
bill had gone back to work that friday
after using up all of his sick time and vacation
to camp out in a vinyl recliner next to my bed.
when he arrived back at the hospital that day
i remember beaming as i shared with him
that i had used the walker to move
from the bed
into the hallway.
it was probably a total of 20 feet
but was my biggest success yet.
i remember how disappointed he was that he'd missed it
and the look of despair on his face
when he realized that my dependence on him
would start to fade
the further i pushed myself
the further he pushed me.

so it was that night
with a wide range of emotions
knowing we were leaving the next day
knowing that my independence would return
knowing that we were not going home
knowing that a baby was in our immediate future
that my man looked at me
in my oversized iowa t-shirt
with shower cap washed hair
not having showered in a week
35 weeks pregnant
and a leg that was hanging on by a thread
and said

'how 'bout a date?'


we used my new found independence
to maneuver my bloated
from the bed
into a wheelchair.
the process alone
took ten minutes to accomplish.

as we left the room
which i now solely occupied
we moved into the dimly lit reception area
of the orthopedics floor.
it was 11:00 at night.

bill pushed me through the hallways of the massive hospital
places i had never seen because i had been isolated to specific rooms
he showed me the bench where he had sat
during my surgery
showed me the various cafeterias where everyone had been dining throughout the week
showed me the skywalk that connected the labor and delivery area to other parts of the building.
we finally found an open cafeteria on the lowest level
and made our way in
to get something to drink
as we made our way to a table
we spotted the med student
who dr. jack had lovingly referred to as 'jethro'
during my surgery.
bill explained our 'date'
explained that i would be released
and he smiled
and shook our hands
as we thanked him again
for all that he'd done.

we continued our travels
through the vacant hallways
bill always pointing out their relevance
to my presence
in the building.

we finally stopped at a bench
not far from the pediatrics wing
(if you've never been to the U
i should make mention
of the amazing artwork
that litter the hallways)
it was in front of just such art
that we paused
imagined we were in some wonderful museum
and talked about just how lucky we were.
lucky to be alive
lucky to have a healthy child still growing within me.
lucky to have two legs.
lucky to have family and friends that cared so much.

and for the second time
on one of our dates
(since he had proposed in the cemetery 10 years before
a story for another time)

we both cried.


Meg said...

Nice... :)

jess said...

well worth the wait!

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...