My photo
mommy. wife. teacher. yogini. writer. coffee drinker. aunt. crocheter. reader. dog lover. scattered. methodical. rational. irrational. paranoid. annoyed. lost. found. content. searching. peaceful. i am constantly in search of my story. the one i have never happened. the one i've lived i cannot write.

22 March 2010

on the eve.

i think
i thought
that after the first year
after recovering
and running
and watching my best good girl grow
and just plain living...
after all of that
i guess i just thought
this day would become insignificant.

it hasn't.

i still wear it on my right leg.
i still carry it in my hip
and on the tibia.

and i wear it with pride.
i carry it with pride.
it is what pushes me
through that wall
and onto the horizon

and this.

husband.  thank you for picking me up, then and now and always.  you told me once, during recovery that it was disappointing when i became more independent because, despite your pride, you felt unneeded.  i hope you know how much i will always and forever need you.  broken or not.

mom and dad.  no matter how many years come and go from then to there...i am who i am because you are who you are.  i am strong because you taught me how to be.  i only hope i can teach charlie the same.

sister.  thank you for bringing joy to this day and a new and wonderful anticipation.  i cannot wait to meet her and tell her how amazing her mama is.

sweet girl.  i thank the stars and the moon and the trees and god above for you.  you make me a better person.  i am so thankful and honored and excited to watch this big world unfold at your feet.  you were born of strength and love.  i hope you will always know that strength and love and share it with everyone you encounter.

tomorrow will come
and go
and be just another blink
on a calendar
but for me
for always
it will be the day
that i became the woman i am.

"At this point, I've got the confidence to know that I'll get through anything in my life given I have the motivation to do it.  If it's an act of survival, we've all got a reason to keep living.  It may not be pretty, but surviving is grit and determination in its highest form.  I learned that I've got the capacity to do a hell of a lot more than I thought I could if I have the proper motivation." 
~ Aron Ralston

go well.

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