me.

My photo
mommy. wife. teacher. yogini. writer. coffee drinker. aunt. crocheter. reader. dog lover. scattered. methodical. rational. irrational. paranoid. annoyed. lost. found. content. searching. peaceful. i am constantly in search of my story. the one i have never happened. the one i've lived i cannot write.

14 October 2010

number 8.

in my previous post
i discussed 30 of my life lessons
as a way of stepping into
my 30th year.

one of the lessons though
that i feel very strongly about
was number
8.

yoga heals.

i have spoken about yoga
in previous posts
but as i was going through photos recently
i realized just how much
yoga has impacted my life
especially since the accident.

but let's go back
for a moment
if you'll bear with me
so that i can take you
to the root of this passion
and the beginning of this lesson.

* * *

i was not a 'sporty' kid.
i was a band geek.
i was a show choir freak.
i was a national honor society kid.

'physical' was a noun
not a verb.
i made sure that i loaded up on classes
so that i could opt out of PE my
sophomore
junior
and senior year.

when i entered college
my lack of physical activity
led to the freshman 15...20...25.
i smoked.
i drank.
i ate a lot of peanut butter straight from the jar
and a 'healthy meal' usually came from subway
or the campus salad bar (complete with chik-fil-a).
the most activity i got
was the time i spent walking from my dorm or car
to class.

* * *

i remember my discovery of yoga.
i was up early one day
cramming in a last minute paper
while chain smoking my marlboros
and channel surfing
when i stumbled upon
steve ross' inhale
bob marley playing the background
everyone smiling
moving
sweating
and i thought to myself
'i could totally do this'.

and so it became a part of my morning routine
to rise
light some candles
and yoga it up
with steve and company.

and so it was
at that point
that yoga
grabbed hold of my soul.

* * *

four years later
after becoming tired of practicing my yoga
in front of the television
i decided to search for a studio
to enrich my experience.

there was a part of me
that worried i had been doing it
all wrong
all these years.

i stumbled upon fusion
local
hip
open to all levels

and so i stepped out of my box
and into a studio
where marsha
took my love of yoga
and blew it up into a passion.

* * *

fast forward.
34 weeks pregnant.
broken.
practicing recliner style yoga
with one leg.
i remember being so afraid
that this was the end of my yogic journey.

* * *

in august 2008
six months post-accident
four months postpartum
a flier from my mother
led me to OHM
and to nancy
and to my mat.

as i looked at pictures of that time
i am remembering just how difficult it was...



my knees no longer bent
and standing up was a battle
i remember taking that picture
of my punkin
on the pumpkin
and afterward
having to hand her to bill
so that i could brace myself
and pull myself upright
with my arms.

in yoga class
i could not perform simple poses
that had once come so easily.
i still maintained a great deal of flexibility
but i became frustrated with my body's
inability to cooperate.

but
i
did
not
stop.

* * *

two years
and many yoga classes
later
i have found my inner yogi once again
and embraced her like a long-lost friend

i have balance.
i have energy.
i have improved perspective.
i have improved mobility.

i can bend my knees.
i can stand on one foot.


 i can put my right leg behind my head.
i can find peace in poses
that once caused discomfort.


i can bend low to the ground
with my girl
and raise myself up
on two legs
without anything
or anyone to hold onto.

yoga has taught me
more about me
than i ever realized could be learned
in the space created
during savasana

yoga heals.

and not just physically
but mentally
and spiritually.

* * *

so thank you
steve ross
john friend
marsha nieland
and
nancy bright
for being my teachers
my gurus
for truly your teachings brought me out of
the darkness of ignorance
into the light of knowledge.

my yogic journey
is a never ending
constantly evolving
trek
and i am so thankful
i get to experience it.

namaste
and
go well.

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