chapter 10.

introduction.
chapter 1.
chapter 2.
chapter 3.
chapter 4.
chapter 5.
chapter 6.
chapter 7.
chapter 8.
chapter 9.

i came to love those labor and delivery nurses.
i came to love the wide open room with the big window overlooking the football stadium.
i came to love the couches and chairs that my family could rest comfortably on.

and so it was
with a swollen abdomen
a broken leg
and a heavy heart
that i watched an orderly
load my dozens of bouquets on a cart
throw my belongings into a bag
and unlock the wheels on my bed.

they needed the room.
i was to be placed on the ortho floor
for observation.

i was angry.
i was tired.
i was in a great deal of pain.

i do not adapt well to change.
i am a creature of habit
and routine
and like things in my world to be
just
so.

bill
unflinching
assured me over and over again that everything would be okay
as long as we were together.
he never let on that he was equally as frustrated
and ten times as angry.

upon arrival
i was hurried into a small room
with a recliner
and two beds.

not only am i a creature of habit
i tend not to share well.
two beds was not what i was ready to face.

the day seemed to transition
from grey
to black
in mere minutes.

my parents sifted through the menagerie of flowers and determined what they would take home
and what would stay with me.
in labor and delivery i had enough room for at least forty arrangements.
in this small orthopedic corner of the hospital i had room for four.
those flowers
all of them
had brought me such a sense of spring
of color
of life.
weeding through them broke my heart.

with bill boosting my optimism
and katie jo seeing to the spa side of things

i began to focus on the positives and settle into my new surroundings.
and then walked in the tech.
a petite brunette
barely out of high school
with fear written all over her face.

tech: i'm sorry...

we all watched her
waited for the reason behind the apology
more than a dozen eyes
fixed with anticipation on her timid features.

tech: we're going to have to move you to a different room...they need this one for a male patient...

no one said a thing.
flowers were loaded again.
bags were packed again.
and we moved...again.

by the time we settled in
to a room that i shared with an elderly woman
and her son
i was exhausted
swollen
frustrated
disappointed
and needing to use a bathroom
(something i had not done since before the accident).

the day had gone to shit
in more ways than one.